Chest Pain

Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed. I feel like I've been doing everything I'm supposed to do these days to be a healthy individual, eating right, taking my vitamins and omega-3s, exercising and getting 35 minutes of cardio a day, getting plenty of sleep, meditating, reading, and blah blah blah. I've even lost the excess weight I was carrying around and am down to 168lbs. Yeah for me. Good work!! All that and yesterday my doc informs me that I have a 'mass' in my right lung and that the three previous x-rays, CAT scan, blood work and two rounds of antibiotics can't account for it .

I went in to the Urgent Care twice about a month ago for chest pain on my left side above my heart and they found no specific cause but did do x-rays, EKG and put me on a heart monitor and found what they thought was Pneumonia in my right lung where there was no pain. They couldn't make heads or tails of the chest pains so they gave me muscle relaxers, pain killers and intense antibiotics for the 'Pneumonia.' Apparently it wasn't pneumonia because it didn't go away and in fact got denser in the following x-ray. Good news is it's not Valley Fever either. WTF?!! I guess we're now hoping it's an abscess. Oh joy of joys.

I have a consultation with a pulmonary doctor tomorrow, not my usually pulmonary doc that deals with my asthma as he's out playing golf or something something, and then a CAT assisted biopsy from the mass in my right lung on Monday at Cottage Hospital. I'm nervous and anxious and I just want someone to hold me right now and tell me it's all going to be ok. Having had asthma all my life, anything that compromises my breathing or lung related complications really freaks me out. I know I should take a deep breath (ouch) and try to relax and take it one day at a time. It's the not knowing that makes my monkey mind CRAZY!!

I think I'm taking a muscle relaxer and a pain killer and then eating half a tray of brownies and calling it a night. Guess it's another night of just me and the teddy bear. I hope he's up for giving me the love I need tonight.